A Natural Birth Story

My Search For Birth Wisdom
And Our Family Centered Birth Experience


When you find knowledge in life that lightens your life in some way the natural impulse is to share it with others so they might experience the joy as well. The birth of our first son was the most powerful experience of my life. I hope that my experience will help teach those of you who will be having families throughout the coming years. This birth story starts long before I went into labor. I was pregnant while my husband and I where going through a job change and had no medical insurance. Out of necessity more than anything I went to a lay midwife for prenatal care. At the time we were unsure if we would have insurance to pay for the birth of our baby, especially with how expensive hospital birth is, this lead us to look for other options.

My sister, who was also pregnant and without medical insurance, was using a midwife for the home birth of her child, She was an inspiration to me of sorts, I thought at first that she was crazy to have her baby at home; she assured me it was safe. It was because of this that I began to ask the question “if home birth is safe, than why do we have hospital birth?” I started to research the history of obstetrics, and how the modern way of birth fits into the old fashioned way. I read everything I could get my hands on books written by conventional doctors, and books written by midwives. It was a search for answers about our modern way of birth. I found the knowledge that empowered me with the ability to make some educated decisions about what kind of birth I wanted.

All that I knew at the time about labor and birth was what I had seen portrayed on TV and talked about very briefly about by my mother. I just could not imagine having birth like that. Lying on a delivery table or even in bed on my back, screaming at my husband "you did this to me!” As I read my first book about pregnancy and birth, written by a conventional medical doctor, I read terms I had never heard before, procedures done routinely in hospitals that I had not known were even part of birth. Terms like episiotomy, epidural, forceps, and vacuum extractor. I remember sitting in my mother’s living room reading this book when I came across the part about episiotomies, my eyes popped out of my head and I said to my mom, “They don’t really do this do they? To every women?” My Aunt and my mother confirmed that with all of their births they had had an episiotomy. I laugh at my ignorance then, I don’t know exactly what I thought birth was like, I just assumed I’d have a baby the way nature intended, whatever that was. I couldn’t understand why birth so complicated?

My midwife gave me a book to read entitled A Midwifes Pregnancy and Childbirth Book: Having Your Baby Your Way (McCartney & Van Der Meer). This book talked about labor more as I hoped it would be. I was most relieved of course when I read that episiotomies were not necessary, as are most of the procedures done in hospital birth. I began to envision how I wanted my labor to go, I wanted to do it natural without all of the medical interventions that are so routine in hospitals. I began to understand why my sister was having a home birth, and why a home birth may indeed be safer. It only made sense to me that we must have the ability as women to labor naturally; after all, women have been doing it for centuries without epidurals. The more I learned about natural childbirth the more convinced I became that there was no other way for me.

As I studied I felt the truth of what these women were saying, deep down I felt a great excitement for my own opportunity to labor, and bring this long awaited baby into the world. I wanted the birth of our first child to strengthen our marriage and bring us closer as a family. I read enough to know that birth by its very definition is not a medical condition. I learned about the birthing methods of midwifery that make it possible to cope with labor pain without drugs, even experience birth pleasantly. Reading about labor eliminated some false impressions, and medical myths. For instance the necessity of having a baby in the hospital, and that all labor is horribly painful. I read a complete history of Midwifery and Obstetrics in order to better understand why we have hospital birth. And although I came to believe that home birth is not dangerous, I also came to appreciate the safety we have gained because of modern medical knowledge.

When my husband and I moved to South Dakota I was eight months pregnant. As I contemplated having a home birth I learned that lay midwifery is illegal in most states, lay midwives who attend home births in South Dakota can be prosecuted for practicing medicine without a license. We decided we did not want to involve someone else in an illegal activity. I found that our community had two hospitals, with birth centers. I toured both hospitals and to my surprise and satisfaction they had comfortable and homey birthing suites, and wonderful nursing staffs. There was still one very important missing link to getting everything I wanted; I couldn’t find the right caregiver. When I first asked if there were any CNM’s in the area the nurses at the hospital told me no. I just asked anyone I could who they thought was a good doctor. I visited with a few doctors that made my toes curl and one unparticular who told me, after I presented my birth philosophy to him, that he had no doubt that once I was in labor I would be begging for drugs, as all women do.

I was becoming concerned I wouldn’t find a doctor with the right philosophy about birth. I had decided on a doctor when I got a call one day from a woman who said “Some of the nurses at the hospital told me you were looking for a Midwife.” She then began to explain that she was a midwife who had just graduated from a midwifery school; she asked if I was still interested and I said “Of course”. She was a blessing to our family, she was essential to us achieving our birth goals, and I could not have been more grateful. She was a constant labor support for me throughout my labor and birth, along with my husband and mother. Not one moment two late I had put together the ingredients for the birth of my choice, and I only had a month until I would deliver

My midwife, Lisa gave me a book to read called Gentle Birth Choices: A Guide to Making Informed decisions, written by Barbara Harper, R.N. This book touched and inspired me the way no other book had it was a book about the power and spirituality of birth. She writes of having gentle birth, what a wonderful word, gentle. "A gentle birth begins by focusing on the mother's experience and by bringing together a women's emotional dimensions and her physical and spiritual needs. A gentle birth respects the mother's pivotal role, acknowledging that she knows how to birth her child in her own time and in her own way, trusting her instincts and intuition. In turn when a mother gives birth gently, she and everyone present acknowledge that the baby is a conscious participant in his or her own birth. The experience empowers the birthing women, welcomes the newborn child into a peaceful and loving environment, and bonds the family."

The words of her book spoke to my soul, and I knew that what she spoke of was the way it was meant to be from the beginning. To take away from a women the opportunity for her to do this sacred work by the sweat of her own brow, is to deny her the greatest joy and fulfillment in her life’s purpose. The words of Barbara Harpers book solidified my confidence to trust myself; it was because of this book that I wasn’t nervous going into labor. I just knew I was prepared, I had the confidence to trust myself, and birth from within. My midwife told me to just keep an open mind, “no labor is a book labor” she said, she was right. My water broke in early labor before my labor really got going. It was five o’clock in the morning, I screamed when I turned the light on in the bathroom and it looked like there was blood everywhere. My mother woke to my screams and came quickly into the bathroom, she calmly said, “it’s your water, it broke.” “But why is it red?”

Because the fluid was red with blood I went into the hospital right away. One of the doctors in Lisa’s office did an ultra sound because the blood in the fluid was a concern to them. They saw no obstructions, but wanted me to stay in the hospital just in case there was a problem they couldn’t see. So I ended up at the hospital a lot sooner than I needed to be. Lisa was patient and we just waited while my labor got going. Kevin and I walked and walked the halls trying to get my contractions to intensify. For eight hours my labor just wasn’t doing anything. I kept thinking, “I want to go home, I’m here to soon, my body isn’t ready to be in labor”, but one of the downsides of hospitals is that procedures wouldn’t permit me to leave because my water had broke.

About one o’clock that afternoon Lisa talked to me about using pitocin (artificial induction or augmentation drug) to get the labor going. I was not happy about that suggestion, I told her everything I’d learned about pitocin, and all of the other interventions that using it would lead too. I told her I would not let pitocin ruin my chance of having the labor I wanted. She told me she knew what I was talking about, but she assured me she would not use it as most doctors do. She told me she would start the dosage out very small, and increase it very slowly. She promised me that I would still be able to walk around, bath, shower, and do what I wanted. She said that she would watch the pitocin closely, and hopefully once the labor got going a little more we wouldn’t need it anymore because my hormones would kick in. With quite a bit of discussion and persuasion I agreed to try it. I believe Lisa managed the use of the drug very prudently because to me the contractions seemed to progress at a natural pace, and in a few hours or so I was making encouraging progress. I remember feeling happy that my contractions were getting stronger and that I was dilating. I was glad that the contractions were finally more difficult for me. I knew that harder contractions meant we were closer to having a baby. There was a defining moment in the steady increase of intensity, when I told my husband to turn off the TV, I needed it quiet to concentrate and it was at this point that we got down to the business of having a baby.

I didn’t try any of those distraction methods to cope with my contractions; I didn’t want to focus on something outside of myself. During each contraction I would concentrate on every little mussel in my body, I would start in my forehead and go down to my toes telling myself to relax this place or that. When the contractions got more difficult Lisa helped me with this relaxation technique. I breathed deeply, none of that pattern breathing, I just made sure I was breathing steady. I did just what Barbara Harper had written about, I went deep down and listened to my body, I did whatever felt comfortable. What I don’t remember about those many hours I labored tells me the most about my labor, it wasn’t like I was passed out or anything, but I labored for many more hours than my memory can account for. I was in such a deep concentration most of the time that I wasn’t aware of what was going on around me. I would flow in and out of this state, I think at times I was in another place, and yet I was right there, and then the contractions would intensify and I would come out of myself seeking comfort from someone nearby. We would try a new position and then I would relax back into concentrating through the contractions. I can’t remember much about what was going on around me during those times of concentration, but I know that the room was dark and quiet, and very peaceful. I felt the comforting presence of my husband and mother. I was lost in the magic of birth. When I would feel myself loosing my control I would say to myself don’t fight the contractions welcome them as the source and power that would bring my baby into my waiting arms.

When position changes and concentration didn’t work and I wasn’t coping with the pain, I went into the bath. The water was the best pain relief, in the water my whole body could relax and I didn’t have to concentrate so much to get it that way. I remember the first time I was in the tub, I was laughing and talking with my mom and Lisa. I felt very clam and relaxed in the water, it was interesting how my legs and arms floated in the water totally relaxed as my very large belly contracted into a hard round ball. I could feel my contractions, but the pressure was centralized in my abdomen and I didn’t have pain seeping into my legs, back, and shoulders as it did out of the water. When I got out of the bath I felt refreshed, I was a new women. After awhile of working through my labor in the hands and knees position and rocking in the rocking chair, I decided to get back into the bath were it wasn’t so much work.

The second time in the bath it didn’t relax me nearly as much as before, after a while I began to quiver and moan. Lisa came in and I was on the verge of tears, in my mind I was thinking if the pain is this bad in the water, I don’t know if I can do it anymore, for a fleeting second I thought what if I need drugs, but then I pushed the thought away and cried out to Lisa and my mom “I can’t do this anymore!” Their presence and reassurance was enough to give me the strength to get out of the tub. As I stood up and leaned on my mom I felt this tremendous feeling, and I said to her “something's happening...SOMETHINGS HAPPENING.” As I walked to the bed I felt the urge to push, and Lisa said go ahead Steph just push if you feel like it.

When I felt the urge to push it was like a tidal wave, a powerful force that I had no control over. I was actually relieved to be able to push with the contractions, to grunt through them, that to me was much easier than having to concentrate on relaxing my whole body through a contraction. With the pushing I didn’t have to relax and my mind shifted from the pain to feeling my baby pass into this life. I felt this feeling of success like I had done it and I knew it wouldn’t be long before I had my baby. I pushed and pushed clenched in my mother’s arms. My mother was this great strength to me; it was as if her strength came into my body through her arms that enfolded around me. I didn’t know how long I had been pushing, but I was getting tired, Lisa said “Stephanie reach down and touch your babies head,” at first I thought “No…How Gross” and then almost in the same moment I said to myself “Yes, he’s there” as I felt the top of his head, it was soft and warm, and I could tell I was so close. My husband said later that after I touched his head I became wonder women and just gave a really big push and pushed his head out.

When Teddy was placed on my tummy I looked down at him and the joy that filled my heart cannot even be expressed. I just said, “he’s so beautiful, he’s so beautiful” through the tears. I really couldn’t believe how beautiful he was, he had a perfect complexion, he had no blood or mucus on him he was white and smooth and round. He had a huge head and I remember the nurses being surprised that I had pushed such a big head out without an episiotomy and very little tearing. The birth had been one of the most incredible spiritual experience of my life, I was filled with pure love for my perfect, beautiful baby boy. It was truly the most empowering moment when I realized that I had done it, that I was strong enough. I did have the ability to birth my child in a gentle, natural way.

So when I say I loved my labor, believe me, I loved it. It was the hardest work I have ever done, but the greatest satisfaction came out of that work. It was everything I had hoped for and more, so much more. It was everything I had imagined it would be and everything I hadn’t imagined it would be. It was through those incredible feelings that my passion was fueled. Ever sense my focus has been to help other women have the confidence in there own inner wisdom, the intuition to make their births, their own. I know that the reason my labor was as wonderful as it was, was because I was prepared. It takes so many things to come together in harmony to be able to labor in that truly unique way. I want to help women to educate themselves, prepare their minds and bodies, and seek out the right labor support. I want each woman to bring her children into this life in love and peace, and by the power of her own body. I hope that every woman will have this powerful, life changing experience called natural birth.

The birth story of Stephanie Morgan, written by Stephanie.